this is what i feel....

come from my true heart..

im writing this and my tear are the witness.

I have been messed up a life, people have not treated me well even when I was a child. i have no body since Abah wasn't in this world anymore.My sibling is ridiculously not close, especially with me. They don't care to hear anything I have to say especially my brother. I don't feel like I love him and I don't feel like he really love me. And like with everyone else I know they say they love me but they show no care for me. I could say my BP are low and they wouldn't even say anything about it to me. I never have had anyone to give me advice, nor to comfort me when I cry. In fact my family called me a crybaby all the time.  When I was sick I prefer to go to see a doc by my own. honestly, im not a very good girl at all. i make mistake a lot. i hurt Abah's feeling, so do mak's. i admit my fault and i promise i wanna change my life. im trying and keep trying. but people never see the changed i made. i always cry in the middle of the night, thinking bout my future, my life and myself.  every single minutes i keep hope that this is only a dream and hopefully when im awake everything is back to normal. but sadly.......this is real thing happened...!!! i miss Abah so much. and i really need him....  i miss my friends... and i need them so much... i miss en.kekaseh and i really need him right now. i only can pray to Allah to gimme a strength to face this life alone.