macam2 sakit..........

lately nih i always fall sick...makan pon dah kurang. lost an appetite. badan sakit2 and lemah. sumtimes, rase mcm nak pitam pon ade...help...kenapakah????

last night, me went out with mak n Dina...accompanying her makan2...*my mom love MAKAN*
so, we having our dinner dekat MAK TIM's Nasi Beryani, Keramat. Sampai sane je i rase macam nak muntah...tapi cover2..ramai orang...so im act normal. Mak order Bihun Bandung and me Soto Nasi Impit. as usual, i akan share makan dgn Dina :) and mak enjoyed her food sorang2....
dah habes selesai sumer, mak cakap "hmm...biase2 je rase makanan kat sni" adoi mak. dah habes semangkuk plus rojak buah and soto syida ni, u can say cam tu plak...hehee ;p
after that, masuk je kete, badan i dah rase sengal2...sakit2...dan macam2 rase lagi...

sampai rumah, i asked mak for URUT badan i nih.. tak tahan sakitnyew..then i said, " mak, urut la betul2..sakit nih!" and she said " mak ni bukan tukang urut!"
akibat tersentap dengan kata2 my mom tu, i terus masuk bilik n nanges sampai tertido....
aduhai.....my body feel like dicucuk2 dgn lidi kerang kat Jumma tuh. Hanya Tuhan yg taw
camne sakitnye.....

this morning, when i woke up i rase dizzy sangat2. Sat lagi nak g clinic bawah ofis ni jap.
ok korang, selamat ari rabu dan selamat menjalankan tugas :)

no title......

.LIFE. im so not in my mood today...

just like wanna screamingggg all oouutttttt...

arghhh..im bored with this life and im being so upset..!why should everything must put on my shoulder like i am the one who's living in that fuken hze??!!
i kept this by myself for a long time...malas nak cite kat sape2..sbb..end up nye i gak akan disalahkan..yesterday, my lil bro ungkit pasal me yg lepas2...*my past time la...*
now, everyone macam nak merendah2kan i...like they never make mistake in life plak...i admited my wrong and i apologized to everyone termasuk my last dad...i know i did wrong and i know im stupid but i never regret for wat was happened...benci la woiii...it's ok shinta, just relax...take a deep breathe....what people gonna say to u just let it...ignore je :)

.HEART. im taking a big risk in my life. omG..i tak taw nak cakap camne kat semua orang.

Maybe people will say "ala usmi,aku dah agak da...." or maybe " what????" or maybe "it's up to u la.." or maybe byk lagi suare2 yg akan kedengaran......oh no!!!!let them know by 'emself la...if mereka2 nak berkate2 let 'em be je...i just want mylife back..my smile and my.....................
i x nak sakitkan hati sape2...dun wanna play peeps heart feeling..."buka pintu utk orang lain" is not that easy to do.i ever try once but.......maybe dah takde jodoh..back to story, mak just came back from Mekah and she bought JUBAH for me...hehe..not for me..but for my KAWAN...kawan??ye kawan...kawan...seorang kawan....and she keep asking me " bile nak bagi baju kat kawan tuh, suruh die try..kalo besar boleh alter..."hehe..dgn selamber i menjawab " tak jumpe lagi..die bz keje keje keje"walhal tak taw macam mane nak g bagi baju kat mamat nih...kang kalo dtg umah semua akan terkejut...adoi...pikir usmi pikir....tak pon the best way, just be honest..
haruskah??

.RAWSHA.

my mom nak sgt makan kat sini. Last night she said to me

"syida, nnti kite makan Chicken Mandy kat Jalan Ampang nak?Dorang kate kat sane sedap macam yg kite makan kat mekah dulu"la mak ni, kan ke syida da penah ckp dulu....dah try pon makan ngn Zahri.ok2..nnti i akan bawak g makan kat sini....dah terliur ngn mango juice...
u guys should try...mmg sedap tp maseh tak dapat lawan yg diSana la....rindu pulak dgn suasane kat situ...dan rindukan orang2 disana....insyaAllah 2011 akan ke sane lagi :)

to many things happened.............

i just hope 2010 will change my life...i nak buang yg sedih2, yg hitam2 and all the bad things and change it to be good. God willing....

This few days i felt like wanna run away from home...sedih dgn ape dah jadi ngn family ni... but the problem tu bukan dari kami adik beradik and not even from mak...tp dr orang luar yg suke menyebuk...sakit hati ni... ikut kan hati nak je i sound "mereka" tuh...!tak sedar diri...!!! im not saying that i ni baik ke beragama ke but...................ish tak taw le nak ckp camne. hopefully bende ni leh settel :(

** im surely that Abah feel upset with the things happened**

Friendship : i miss my buddies so much...the last person that i meet up was AYIN. umm...mane yg lain nih. bile la nak jumpe korang ni...? i miss to spend my time with them...
karok sampai pecah suare, muvie, picnic..bla..bla...
pls pls pls call me when u guys haf any plan ok :)

in relationship : biarlah rahsia. kalau ade jodoh tak kemana kan??!! berserah je :)

work : day by day, i semakin bosan nak keje. i really hate this job. i nak masuk hotel line balik but....ayoyoyoooo cannot la... i nak stadi insurance, so that i can easily amek test for insurance. jadi ejen pon ok gak...haha....and one thing, i rindu nak wat photoshoot lagi...waaa...cepat2 call me to rosakkan photo2 korang ;p

money-money : im still waiting for my "bonus". hadoii bile la nak dapat nih...i tak sabar nak shopping baju..and nak hntar kain g buat baju kurung for my bro's wedding on feb nnti...
macam2 nak beli nih..ngeee~

BORED

im bored and i dun haf any idea to updated...
feel so bad....!!!

we miss you badly Abah :(

in memory of Haji Rusfan Bin Haji Husin
15 August 1945 - 04 January 2009

Hari ni,(04.01.2010) genap setahun Abah pergi tinggalkan i and all family and friends.
Even though he's not with us anymore but he is still my loving father and only God knoes how much we miss you...
you're the one and only dad i ever had.
i wanna find sum1 just like Abah to be my future husband....
a strong man, educated, loving, caring.......insyaAllah

Abah,
I love you with all my heart
And I'm sorry I wasn't there in the end of ur life...
Heaven is your home now,
I love you, Abah,
R.I.P.